The Road With Thorns
by leighward
Summary: *Re-Write* Rose thought that unrequited love sucked. Especially when it was for your best mate, and you had to pretend to not want him. Can she travel this journey with him through time and space while keeping her heart intact?
1. Chapter 1

pHer nail polish was chipped, and her nails had grown out a bit since she'd last painted them. Metallic gold, the shimmering color was eye catching and Rose enjoyed how the light reflected off of it. She'd even noticed the Doctor noticing, last week when the polish was fresh and new. Now, it was flaking and chipped and old. Just like me apparently, she thought. She felt like chipped nail polish. Scuffed and used next to the pristine brilliance of the Royal Courtesan./p

p Reinette Poisson. Even Rose had to admit that she was beautiful and intriguing. No wonder she'd enchanted the Doctor. She'd seemed incredibly enchanting. In any other circumstance Rose would've also been enchanted, but she couldn't help the pangs of jealousy and resentment that echoed through her as she watched the Doctors' infatuation with the woman grow. It's like Rose could actually see him falling in love. /p

pThe Doctor was falling in love with the Uncrowned Queen of France, nothing more than a fancy whore. Rose snorted and began laughing. The idea was completely ridiculous. For a moment she imagined him as he was when she'd first met him. All broody and black leather jacket, trying his hand at romance to woo the Kings mistress. The mental imagery was so hilarious that she choked. Holding her sides from laughing so hard, Mickey regarded her warily./p

p"You ok?"/p

pShe just nodded, waving him off and wiping at the tears leaking from her eyes. "Yeah. Thought of something funny s'all."/p

pMickey frowned. "You're in denial, Rose. Some boyfriend the Doctor turned out to be. He left you for another woman! Left both of us, and now I'm gonna die in this place." He was pacing back and forth, like he'd been doing for the past 3 hours. Insulting the Doctor and whining about how it was just his luck, to get forgotten about his first trip out.

Mickey was a decent bloke, and Rose realized she'd not been fair to him. Leaving with the Doctor without calling things off with Mickey properly. Even so, her guilt over how she'd treated him wasn't quite so bad as she realized all the reasons it would have never worked between them even if she'd not left with the Doctor./p

p"He's not my boyfriend, Micks. We're not like that." Rose told him quietly./p

pMickey snorted. "You sure about that, babe?" He continued to pace and grumble and Rose tuned him out as she chewed her thumb. /p

pShe'd realized that she loved the Doctor before he'd changed. Back when she'd asked to see her dad. He'd sacrificed himself to a Reaper to save a church full of people and in that moment she'd known. Not the way she knew now, but it was really the defining moment when she knew that he mattered to her. For all her flirting with Adam and Jack, it was the Doctor she fancied. She was positive she'd mattered to him back then as well, and after he'd changed the boundaries between them became more and more...questionable./p

pThis new version was more bubbly, tactile, affectionate and a teasing flirt. It was a puzzle to her, trying to figure out if his flirting with her meant anything or not. They'd become comfortable, close, and something a bit more than just best mates. Rose sighed, running her hands through her hair. No, the Doctor in his last body wouldn't be off romancing anyone. Too domestic. This new man though, Rose was still learning what he was capable of./p

pIt was her emotions that were truly troubling her, because even as she'd known she fancied the Doctor, she only recently admitted to herself it's more than a simple schoolgirl crush on an older man. Watching him first with Sarah Jane, then with Reinette, it writhed in the pit of her stomach. She was properly in love with him. Thinking back, she could swear he felt similarly. Her feelings of betrayal were simmering painfully as she watched while he skipped happily into infatuation...with someone else./p

pRose tilted her head back against the metal paneling and tracked Mickey as he paced loops around the room. It was annoying. He was annoying. With her own emotions in turmoil she couldn't carry his as well./p

p"Go back to the Tardis, Mickey. There'll be food in the kitchen. The Doctor could be a while yet, go on and have your tea."/p

pMickey bristled, recognizing the dismissal for what it was./p

p"While you do what, Rose? Sit there til your arse is numb, alone, while he's off havin' 'is fill? You waiting on him, worrying about him all while he's off forgetting about you!"/p

pRose bristled back and pushed herself up to stand facing him./p

p"That's not fair! One thing I've learned while traveling with the Doctor is that things are rarely so simple as they seem. Yeah, I know what it looks like, but anything could be happening!"/p

p"Oh, I'm sure anything is happening!" Mickey smirked. /p

p"Shut up Mickey! For your information it doesn't matter. He could be off shagging his way through Solomon's Harem, and it doesn't matter! He could be well and truly stuck there and it doesn't matter! He's a Time Lord! He sees variables we could never even imagine and he would never allow himself to truly lose the Tardis."/p

p"Fine!" Mickey shouted back as he threw his hands up in surrender. "So act like you don't care. If he makes it back it's not for you. It's certainly not because I mean anything to him. It's only for that blue box! You remember that!"/p

pRose stumbled back into the wall as Mickey stomped off toward the Tardis. His words stinging as if he'd slapped her. She was making excuses for the Doctor, and Mickey saw right through her. Why does the truth have to hurt? /p

pTrying to swallow the heaviness in her throat, she tried to tell herself that everything was going to be ok. That the Doctor would come bouncing back, full of energy from a job well done and excited anticipation for the next adventure. That he would grab her hand and they would run, like always, grinning like mad as they faced the monsters together. /p

pLike normal./p

pRose squared her shoulders, stuffing down her uncertainty. /p

p"This is ridiculous," she whispered to herself. "I know the Doctor. I know him, so I know he's coming back."/p


	2. Chapter 2

The Doctor lies. He said he was alright. He wasn't. She knew it, but Mickey took one look at him and immediately pulled her away before she could call him out on it. She followed along behind Mickey as he brought her to the room the Tardis had given him. She was impressed. It looked like a posh flat, with a sitting room and kitchenette, then a hallway leading to what she assumed were a bedroom and ensuite. The Tardis must like him.

"It's nice," she told him, "she's given you a games system an' everything."

"Yeah," he stood by the door looking uncomfortable, then blew out a long breath and flopped down on the sofa.

"Look, Rose," he started, then looking up at her swallowed and changed his mind about what he'd been planning to say. "I love you, Rose. Have done seems like my whole life. I've properly loved you though, since you kicked Cubby Timmons in the nuts back in year 8."

"Micks, don't-," Rose started but he cut her off saying, "I know you love the Doctor. Properly love him. But Rose, I don't know if I can sit by and watch Jimmy Stones happen again. At some point I've got to look after me."

Rose inhaled sharply and sat down next to him, reaching for his hand. "The Doctors not Jimmy. He's nothin' like Jimmy. Just because he doesn't love me back doesn't make him...You have to understand he's my best mate."

"He's gonna break your heart, Rose."

"You're right, Mickey. It's time for you to put you first."

"Rose-," he began, but she just leaned over and kissed him on the lips. "Thanks for looking out for me all these years."

Rose stood and walked out into the corridor, closing the door to more than just a room.

pDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW

Rose leaned against the wall of the corridor halfway between her room and the kitchen debating if she should just go to bed, or give in to her desire to check on the Doctor. She didn't want to be one of those pathetic girls who constantly chased after the person they've become obsessed with. She loves the Doctor, cares about his well-being, but doesn't want to be clingy and annoying. She knows that's why Mickey had pulled her away earlier. It hadn't been difficult to pick up on the Doctors desire to be alone. Mickey hadn't wanted her to push the Doctor and be hurt in response. The expression on his face when he'd come back, without Reinette, it wouldn't leave her. She hurt for him even as she felt relief at the other woman's absence.

Deciding she could use a cuppa, she mulled over what she should do as she dipped her biscuit into her tea until it was soggy enough to dissolve on her tongue the way she liked. Annoying crush she wouldn't do, but supportive mate she could. She dropped her empty cup in the sink and pulled out a serving tray and set about putting a quick tea together. Pouring boiling water into the Doctors favorite mug she added in the 4 scoops of sugar and splash of milk that he liked. She placed a banana and package of Biscoff on the tray and headed back toward the console room.

The Doctor poked his head out from under the console when he heard her put the tray down on the jump seat. Pulling himself up he said, "Rose, are you alright? It's late, you should be sleeping." He'd taken his jacket and tie off, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. Grease was smeared across his left cheek and he'd obviously been running his hands through his hair. His eyes were red and puffy and she swallowed, thinking how incredibly unfair things suddenly were.

"I'm fine. Left Micks in his room playing with the games system the Tardis gave him. She gave him a flat! A proper flat, even has a kitchen. I don't even have that. Just my bedroom and the ensuite. Not that I'm jealous, mind, but he may never want to leave now. You'll be properly stuck with 'em!"

The Doctor had pulled himself up and was leaning with a hip against the console. "Oh, I think the universe has a few surprises in store for Mr. Micketity-Mick," he replied.

Rose looked at him sharply, "That's why you let him come along, you saw something in his future."

"Hmm." He listened to her ramble on about Mickey to cover the nervousness rolling off of her in waves. She was standing next to the jump seat fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. She was definitely not alright.

"Sure you're alright?," he asked.

Rose blew out a breath. "I'm fine, Doctor. I brought you some tea. Just how you like."

"You're not planning to join me?" He asked, having noticed there was only one cup.

Rose shrugged. "I wasn't sure you'd want company. Thought I'd at least make sure you had something to eat before I head off to bed."

The Doctor nodded and sniffed, sliding his hands into the pockets of his pinstriped trousers. She was lying to him for some reason. Her body language was completely off.

"Rose, did something happen with Mickey?"

Shaking her head, she took a step back saying, "So I'll leave you then. Like you said it's late, and nearly being murdered by clockwork robots can make a girl tired, yeah?" She'd intended it to be a joke, but it came out sounding like an accusation.

The Doctor inhaled sharply and quickly went to her, putting his hands on her shoulders, he said, "They didn't hurt you did they? I should have asked sooner, but I completely forgot-" he stopped suddenly, eyes going wide. "Oh Rose, I'm so, so sorry-"

"S'ok Doctor." Rose interrupted him. "I understand. You needed to be with her. She meant something to you. I know what that's like."

He let go of her and backed up a step. "She was important to the Universe. Her life was riddled with fixed points. I had no choice but to save her."

"But that's not all that happened, is it?"

The words were spoken before Rose had a chance to stop them. Shit, she thought, so much for being supportive and being a good mate.

He stuffed his hands back in his pockets and she watched the emotions darken his brown eyes to almost black as the dimples stood out in his cheeks. His Oncoming Storm expression in this body. Her instincts were yelling at her to just leave him, let the conversation go, both of them, and carry on tomorrow like nothing had ever happened.

She was turning to go when he spoke. "I'm surprised you haven't yelled at me for abandoning you, or for nearly being too late to save you earlier when those droids had you strapped to that table. Another minute Rose, and I'd have been too late. You have every right to yell at me, to demand-"

"You think I'm not angry?" she interrupted him. To hell with being a supportive mate then. "Shit! I'm tired! You promised me not 24 hours ago that you'd not leave me. You spoke those words, in a way that made me think I mean something to you. Then you turn right around and do the very thing you just promised not to do! And if that's not enough, I've got Mickey breathing down my neck, saying how much he still loves me and I get to be the bitch who breaks his heart! I'm tired!"

He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. It was then she realized what he had been trying to do. Distracting her with his wrongdoings. Realization slammed into her and she felt her face flush with anger as she lit into him.

"Don't you dare!" Rose was shaking now, so mad she was crying. The tears making her voice thick, she struggled not to sob as she continued, "Don't you dare try to manipulate me into leaving! If you truly don't want me here, just say so and I'll pack my things. But don't you dare play with my emotions, Doctor!"

She was crying and panting and the Doctor was watching her with an expression of surprise and horror. He'd seen her cry before, of course, but never like this. He cringed inside, unsure of what to do. Ordinarily he would go to her, wrap his arms around her; but this time she was crying partly because of him.

He found himself completely overwhelmed all of a sudden. The last 48 hours crashing into him. Truth was, he had been unprepared for his feelings for Reinette, and those feelings so greatly unsettled him. He'd wanted her to come along, and going back just to discover she'd died waiting for him had left him gutted. Running into Sarah Jane, well, that was bittersweet, and eye opening. Then having that confrontation with Rose where he'd realized not only that she was gonna age and die, but that he'd been playing at something with her, something he wasn't thinking about the consequences of.

He'd been honest, about her spending her life with him. He'd meant every word he'd told her, but he'd also realized that he'd let the boundaries between them fall too much. Rose had saved him from himself. She'd entered his life unexpectedly and become precious to him, but when she'd said, "I though that we...but I obviously got it wrong," it'd been like a bucket of ice water over his head. His legs itched to run.

Mickey with his new intriguing timeline had been the perfect distraction, or so it seemed. He thought he could use Mickey to re-established his boundaries with Rose. Then he'd met Reinette. He'd been infatuated from the moment she'd stepped into her childhood bedroom, all grown up and brilliant. She was so brilliant. She'd snogged him, and when she'd stepped into his mind he'd been lost to her. It'd been so long since he'd felt those strokes of intimacy. He'd let himself get lost in her for a bit.

Rose was trying to control her sobs, and he sighed and told her, "You'd have every right if you did leave me, Rose. I don't want you to go. I meant it when I said you could spend your life with me. You do matter to me, just..." He trailed off, not knowing how to continue.

"You just found someone who matters more," Rose finished for him.

"A bit different," he replied quietly. "I'm sorry."

Rose snorted even as her heart was breaking. His confirmation digging in deeper than she'd thought was possible.

"Do you want me to speak to Mickey?" he offered.

"God, no." Rose wiped her eyes and took in a ragged breath. "Don't be sorry."

"Rose-"

"No! If you were happy, then don't be sorry. I don't want your apology for that, ever. You're my best mate, I want you to be happy."

He reached out and pulled her into a hug.

"I've lived a long time. In 900 years I've had a few good mates, but none quite like you. Sometimes your compassion is more than I deserve."

"Tough," she whispered, looking up at him. "I'm your best mate, I'm always gonna be here to take care of you. You're rubbish on your own."

"That I am," he agreed.

Rose started to give him a watery smile but yawned loudly instead, curling fingers into his shirt and her forehead thumped against his chest. He laughed and wrapped his arms tighter around her. "Bedtime for the tired human. Come on, I'll make certain you get there before passing out in my corridors again. You were so grumpy after that last time."

"Oi! Oh, your tea is cold," she pouted.

"It's fine. You can just make me some more tomorrow."

"The cheek!"

As they reached her door, he took her hand and told her, "You aren't a bitch just because you don't love him, and if he really loves you, then he knows that already."

Rose just gave him a wobbly smile before saying, "Goodnight Doctor," and heading into her room.

That night, Rose lie awake in her bed thinking about the Doctor. She loved him. He didn't deny loving Reinette. They were still best mates, but things felt different now. She knew he could fall in love. She now had proof that he would if he wanted. She caught back a sob as she realized that meant only that he didn't want to with her.

The Doctor had retired to the library after walking Rose to her room. Emotions still raw, he settled onto the sofa and pulled out Reinettes' letter. Sniffing, he read through it one last time before refolding and placing it back in his pocket. She'd shone bright as the stars, and he'd wanted her. For a few hours he'd had her, and nearly lost Rose in the process. It would have never worked if Reinette had come with them. One trip and she'd be demanding he return her. Even with the pain it was better this way. He could see that now that he'd returned to his own life and the glamour of the adventure had worn off. This is why he didn't fall in love.

The Tardis hummed in the Doctors mind, sending waves of comfort. Her Thief was hurting. Her human Sister was hurting. The human boy was hurting. The Tardis sighed, doing what she could to sooth her passengers. She could see the timelines better than even her Thief could, and the future held many possibilities. After the war, she'd looked ahead and seen the timeline that would bring both her and her Thief the most happiness. She just needed him to keep to the path. She was going have to watch him more closely, because she wasn't about to let him mess up their happy ending


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor actually slept that night. He had gotten four hours spread out on the sofa in the library. It had been an emotionally taxing couple of days, so he'd not pushed away his minds need of convalescence once he realized the Tardis was pumping a relaxant into the air. Meddlesome Timeship. "You're not my Mother," he had grumbled as sleep claimed him.

Now, rested and showered, he was sipping on a cup of tea while scrolling through the Tardis database searching out a planet that would serve as a suitable apology for his less than stellar behavior toward his companions the day before. He was leaning toward the planet Xinhphis over the Planet Rodnnifirg due to the bananas from Xinhphis tasting better.

That's how Mickey found him, leaning over the search screen and muttering about bananas.

"Oi, I've got words to say and you're gonna listen!"

The Doctor jumped and spun around, the stomp of shoes coming heavily across the grating and the determined set of the younger mans' shoulders only giving him a second to prepare for the punch he saw coming. Mickey had a surprisingly good right hook.

The Doctor stumbled back into the railing from the force of the punch, eyes darkening as he stood back up and considered the consequences of just tossing Mickey out in the middle of deep space.

"That's for Rose!" Mickey told him. "Cause she just makes excuses for you and you're supposed to be looking after her but your promises are shite!"

The Doctor sighed, wondering why his life had suddenly become so domestic. He'd been involved in more serious conversations in the last couple days than he had in the previous couple years. He really wasn't in the mood for for this.

"I'll give you that one, but only because it's for Rose."

The Doctor moved until he was standing toe to toe with the younger man, not bothering to repress the storm brewing in his eyes. Mickey was too worked up to notice, feeling too emotionally wounded by his relationship with Rose ending. It left him without a foothold, he felt open and raw.

"The worst part is she's givin' up everything for you! Everything! You didn't know Rose when things were bad. When she got herself taken in by that son'fa bitch Jimmy. She gave up everything to run off wi' him too. Gave her empty promises and used 'er up. Had 'er convinced he was Prince Charming and wouldn't listen to reason no matter how much Jackie begged her to come home. Wasn't till he put 'er in hospital that she admitted wot 'e was. Rose is tough, but she's been hurt, bad hurt."

"I would never hurt Rose," the Doctor began, feeling anger bubble through his veins at the accusation behind Mickeys words.

"She was almost killed yesterday!" Mickey bellowed in disbelief. "Those droids had us strapped down, and it was gonna saw open her scull and take her brain! It was dumb luck your drunken arse happened back in time to stop it. It isnt enough for you to break her heart, you're not gonna stop until you get her killed!"

"This life isn't always safe, but I have always done what is necessary to keep Rose safe. I will never stop."

"You've only been lucky so far. You should leave her. You don't deserve her. You're just using her. It's shameful, swanning off with the Madame! Rose said it didn't matter, you could shag whoever you wanted, but if you end up giving her space herpes cause you can't keep your cock in your pants I swear to God I'll -"

"MICKEY!"

The two men turned to see Rose standing just inside the console room, and from the look on her face she was mad as hell.

"I can't believe this! I don't need a flippin' knight in shining armor to come rescue me from my decisions! I WANT to be here. I WANT this life! Its my decision, and I resent you actin' like you know better 'n me about my own life!"

"Rose-" Mickey started, but Rose wasn't finished, "No! You should do what you said you were gonna do and think about yourself for once. I don't need any help."

The Doctor was slowly making his way to the other side of the Console, intending to leave his companions to hash out their drama on their own when Mickey made another lewd comment pertaining to his and Roses relationship and suddenly his feet felt glued to the grating.

"I'm not shagging the Doctor!" Rose screamed at Mickey in frustration.

Mickey just snorted and laughed, "Oh ho! Now you think I'm stupid!"

"Doctor," Rose gritted through her teeth, looking at him for the first time. "Tell him about our sex life."

The Doctor quirked a brow and pulled awkwardly on his ear. "Um..."

"Go on, tell him what you can do with that tongue of yours, and how you can make me scream."

The Doctor blinked slowly before replying, "Sarcasm aside, cheeky by the way, we don't."

Mickey was incredulous, "What, you mean you've already dumped her? You sorry piece of alien-"

"No, I mean Rose and I have never engaged in sexual activities, ever."

Mickey just stared backed and forth between Rose and the Doctor for several minutes before pointing his finger at the Doctor and demanding, "Why the hell not?"

"I need to go repair something," the Doctor said, making his way toward the corridor as Rose went off on Mickey again. He had to escape this. Why did he always pick up young humans that were ruled by their hormones? As he disappeared into the depths of the Tardis, he was sad they weren't going to Xinhphis to get the really good bananas.

DWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW

Rose closed the Tardis door behind her and leaned back against it. Mickey wasn't coming back with them. He'd found a purpose in the parallel Universe and had decided to stay. He'd said she didn't need him, cause she had the Doctor. Then there was Pete Tyler. He wasn't her dad, she knew that, but his rejection still stung horribly.

Over the last several weeks since the spaceship and France, Rose and the Doctor had settled back into their easy friendship. Taking Mickey to several different planets and times, they attended concerts and festivals and only got arrested twice. Things were fine, but things were also different.

Now Mickey was gone. She opened her eyes to find that she'd slid down the Tardis door and was seated, hugging her knees to her chest. She was probably giving the Doctor a view of her knickers again, but in the moment she didn't care. She was a bit too numbed out to move. She'd also started crying at some point, and she kept trying to wipe her tears off on her shoulders and was pretty certain all she'd done was smear her mascara all down her face.

"It's not fair," she whispered to herself, and jumped when the Doctors voice answered her from the console. She'd forgotten how sensitive his hearing was.

"Mickey is a grown man, and he's made his own decision."

"No, I mean, that's only part of it," she sobbed.

The Doctor had come back down the ramp and sat next to her. Putting an arm around her shoulders, he pulled her into a side hug and ran his hand up and down her arm in comfort.

"This is why you brought him along, isnt it? You saw this coming."

The Doctor nodded but didn't answer right away.

"Why don't I take you to see your Mum? The Tardis needs some more rest and repairs, so I can take you to see Jackie for a few days while I'm busy. The energy in the parallel Universe wasn't good for the old girl, I need to recalibrate multiple systems."

"No." There were some conversations Rose wasn't ready to have with her Mum yet, if ever.

"No?" He looked down wondering if he'd heard her right. "You just watched the parallel version of your Mother die, Rose. Don't act like it isn't bothering you. Not to mention Mr. Mickey choosing to stay behind. You've every right to be upset. It's ok to need your Mother."

"You just want to get rid of me too, cause I made things too domestic lately and you hate that!" she accused, knowing she was being ridiculous.

"Now that isn't fair! Hold on, what do you mean 'get rid of you too?'"

"I told him who I was."

"Ah"

"He ran away."

"He wasn't your dad, Rose. Remember what I said about gingerbread houses?"

"So what, you're gonna do your 'I told you so' dance at me?"

"I don't have an 'I told you so dance'. Who has an 'I told you so dance'? Horribly rude, that. Besides, I don't really dance."

"You did in France. And Mickey, he had a dance he would do."

The Doctor sniffed, "That's rude, and hardly the same thing."

Rose just poked her lips out at him and he sighed,"You're crying over this man? You wanted to be with him?"

"No, it wasn't working even before I met you. It's just, he's my oldest mate. Known him my whole life. He's always just been there."

"I see," The Doctor replied. "And that's just my point. Let me take you home for a few days. It's familiar, and you'll feel better for it."

Rose looked at him through red, swollen eyes for a minute before saying, "Promise you're not leaving me."

The Doctor gently wiped the tears from her face and kissed her forehead. Looking her in the eyes he said, "I promise. I'll park on the Estate, and be close if you need me. I promise I'm not leaving you, Rose."

To his surprise this brought on a fresh wave of tears. He was puzzled for a moment until he realized she'd been abandoned now by every man in her life, even him though he came back. Blowing out a breath, he gave her a squeeze and said, "Come on. Go get changed into your jimjams and meet me in the library. I'll make tea and we can read some Harry Potter."

Rose sniffed, then asked in a small voice, "Will you do the voices?"

The Doctor laughed, "Yes, I'll do the voices. Now scoot, you're all streaky with a bit of knicker."

"Oi! Well don't look at it then! Your fault for making me wear this stupid maids uniform."

"I didn't make you wear your grandmothers knickers under it though."

"It's laundry day!"

Rose fell asleep that night, dressed in her fluffy flannel jimjams and fluffy socks, wrapped in her fluffy blanket on her end of the couch listening to the Doctor read. It was bittersweet. It really felt like moving on.


End file.
